Very Well Then

This year, the Academy should hand out Oscar statuettes with the arms cut off – little Oscar de Milos in honor of all the dismemberment in this year’s nominees.

I’ve seen all ten nominated films this year, and there’s a lot of missing body parts.

It’s no spoiler to anyone that 127 Hours is about a hiker forced to cut off his own arm to free himself from a boulder in the Utah wilderness.   But the amputations don’t stop there.   And I’m not just talking about all the times Mr. Potato Head’s arms fall off in Toy Story 3.

From the Best Picture nominations – here’s my list of severed and damaged body parts.

** Spoiler Alert ***

** This list is full of spoilers. Come back and re-read this later if you don’t want anything given away.  **

127 Hours – Hiker cuts off arm.

Winter’s Bone – Daughter cuts off hands of drowned father to prove father is dead so as to prevent the bondsman from claiming the family home.

True Grit – Mattie has arm amputated after snake bite.   An outlaw gets his finger chopped off.  Leboeuf bites through his tongue.   Rooster Cogburn has missing eye.

The Fighter – Marky Mark’s hands get broken by a cop.   General boxing film mutilation.

The Black Swan – At least in the paranoid mind of Natalie Portman, a finger-tip gets clipped off, plus some serious self-cutting.

Inception – There must have been some detached body parts somewhere in that Freudian-scape.  Or did I dream that?

Toy Story 3 – Mr. Potato Head’s arms.  Mrs. Potato Head’s eyes.    Oh, the Spudanity.

The King’s Speech – The cat has the King’s tongue.

The Kids Are All Right – Just some long-lost semen that isn’t missing after all.

Social Network – Lawyer’s suing for millions over emasculated pride.